we have officially lost it.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
