You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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