Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
