we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
