I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
