you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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