What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
