He told me they were just razor bumps!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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