There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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