Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
