yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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