Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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