I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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