I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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