It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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