lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
