How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I only lived at night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
