ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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