I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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