ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
