Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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