Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
