I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
