Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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