only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Enjoy the penises
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
