I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
