He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was born a porn star she said
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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