She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
