Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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