College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
