I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
