Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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