we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
