got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
