I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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