Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
