3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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