the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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