Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
