...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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