They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
