I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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