thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i barfeds in our rink
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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