well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
