don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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