Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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