We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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