i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
