So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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