i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
All the doctor said was why
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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