So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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