Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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