I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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