He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
