Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
