VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
