and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
