Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
