NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
