He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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