Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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