i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize