She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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